I can't

This is another reason I am not going to church. They want to get rid of oral sex, porn, and any and everything enjoyable about being single and a  man.

http://xxxchurch.com/

In fact here is a quote from thier next big thing, Porn Sunday.

"

Porn Sunday- February 6, 2011

On February 6, 2011 millions of people will watch the biggest football game on Sunday afternoon. It's time to confront the elephant in the pew. Join with over 300 churches on 5 continents to tackle this issue on February 6th.

We are opening up registration to Churches and to Individuals that want to throw "Porn Sunday Pre-Game" Parties. If you are the pastor of a church or an individual that is willing to organize a house party at your home. Sign up below!

"

 

You know, tell your God, I ain't really interested and to stop calling my phone please.

First Date Advice

 My mom says I’m a serial dater. Maybe I am. I don’t think so, but I do like the company of women. As a man, I must say the old saying goes “ain’t no pussy like new pussy.”

However, I do want to settle down one day. However, again, there are men out there that don’t want to settle down. They want to date, and date, and date as much as possible. They want to sow their wild oats as much as possible. I can’t blame them. When I was out running the streets, I had an enjoyable time. Granted I had an empty feeling sometimes. For perspective though, one of my friends told me “I rather feel empty in side then have an unused condom.”

 Wow. That’s all I can say to that quote.  I remembered that quote recently, when I was hit up for some advice on women. So, just like I put him up on game, I’m going to put you up on some of my Hitch game. So without further adieu, some first date advice

Do Plan ahead

Women hat e a man that doesn’t have an idea on what to do on a date. Hopefully, you asked her out, but it’s okay if you didn’t. That still means, though, you need to be the man here and make the plans.

Don’t spend above your means

If you can’t afford anything more than $100 for an entire date, don’t try to spend $200 and ask her to put in her half. That’s trife son, and you will more than likely not get a second date.

Do Talk

 Talking is the key to anything. If you can make her laugh, talk about her, or get a quality question and answer/ back and forth going you are winning. Conversation of any kind is the best way to a woman’s heart because it shows personality and depth, something no amount of money can substitute for.

Don’t Go somewhere that you can’t hear her talk

 Bars and clubs are cool to meet a girl. A date, however, is for you and her to learn about the other. Also, movies are horrible places for a first date. The goal is to talk, conversant and be invited into her world.

Do Dress the part

 A nice shirt, pants and clean shoes are a must. They don’t have to be expensive, but please match, be clean, ironed are a must. Please, be conservative with the cologne, because there is a such as thing as too much. Also, make sure the belt matches the shoes.

Don’t Bring up sex

 Just a no-no. In fact don’t ask any question you don’t a) want to know the answer to and b) don’t want asked back to you.

Do Masturbate

 Hear me out here. It is common knowledge that a guy acts differently around women when he hasn’t gotten a nut out in a while and is looking to get one soon. If you “release the hounds” a few hours before your date, you’re more likely to actually focus on the woman, and not on sex. Just trust me on this, the scene that you are thinking of from that one movie is actually true.

Don’t Be a douche

 Jersey Shore behavior is stupid. It is probably the quickest way to have a horrible date. Instead, open doors, offer your jacket when ever outside, look her in the eyes when she is talking, walk to her right, and over all be a gentleman.

These are just a few simple tips on what to do on a first date. I hope this is a good start and will lead to happiness and a second date. Best of luck mate. E

What I look for in a woman?

That is an interesting question, my partna in blog poised to me. SW asked me, point blank,”I wanna know what strikes a man like you from a woman. What makes you say-- Oh damn... That one.” Well shit, I guess I have to let you, the potential world in on my hunting eyes.[1]

Looks:

            I’ve dated models before. Let me tell you, the amount of drama that come with dating them is not worth the time of me going after that. I can have a jealous streak. However, why get upset at the dude. If Will Smith got mad at ever dude that was trying to holla at Jada Pickett, he be probably dead by now. Looks are not my number one thing. I don’t want a grenade or an ugly girl, but a consenstent 7 or 8 is just fine by me. Besides beauty fades. However, if she is a 7 or 8 with little makeup, then she has potential to me. Little makeup says “this girl has confidence in her natural self.” I like that.

Clothes

            Just like clothes make the man, it’s the same with women. While she doesn’t need to rock Gucci everything, she has to at least match. Also, please be covered. I like a little mystery. Nothing makes me think twice about approaching a girl, then when I can see her bra when she is in a natural position. That’s trashy.  In the work place/ casual settings, I am a sucker for a pencil skirt. At the bar/club, something tight but falls somewhere mid thigh, oh la la. In the spring summer time, I love spring dresses or a one piece dress. That get’s my attention every time.

Body shape

            My favorite part of a girl is legs. A little muscle tone thigh, nice calves, and a kept up pedicure. Good God, I can’t take my eyes off of you. Shaved legs, silky smooth to the touch, girl you better stop. Breast size is not a big deal. Prefer a tighter side tummy, but in shape is fine. Please, though, no man arms. I got a big enough set of guns for the both of us. The less hair the better as well.

Mind

            This is the biggest thing to me. If she can’t hold a conversation, you get the gas face. When I say conversation, I mean about something meaningful. I don’t watch “Jersey Shore”, my life doesn’t revolve around what happen on “The Game” or TFM.com. I’m talking about politics, sports, food, traveling, just variety. The more you can talk about, the more I will be willing to try watching “Jersey Shore” or “The Game” to include things that interest you. Also, I find myself attracted to people that have had some college in their life. Not saying she had to finish because stuff happens and I understand. I just can relate to that type of girl more.

This is just a start, but there is more probably. If you have any follow ups, hit the comment section, and I’ll try to respond. Untiil then…

“Either love me, or leave me alone”

E

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[1] Subject to change as time goes on.

Dreams

Maybe I need to change my diet before I go to bed now. Lately I have had a slight bout of insomnia. While I'm tired as all get out, I lay in bed and just toss and turn for hours. It's a bit frustrating to say the least. I've changed my sheets, used candles, and put on some different music. Nothing puts me to sleep. What does seem to put me to sleep is talking, in some capacity, to my friend San Diego. She is a nice girl and her voice allows me to venture off the dream land. The issue is what happens when I arrive to dreamland.

The last two times, when i hear San Diego's voice before going to bed, I have had some sick sick dreams. It's starts with what seems like a movie scene and I'm playing what seems the villain role. Somehow, I'm a parent and my family's cat just had kittens. I'm holding a large box with the kittens in them, some asleep while others up looking at me with kitten eyes. Very adorable and heart warming you would think. Not me and my dark heart. My children and wife, who looks like my ex-fiancé( a royal bitch) have upset me about something. I don't want the cats and the responsibilities that come with them. I cant hear the dialogue that we are saying to each other, but it is highly animated and I'm not happy in the least bit. In a fit of rage, I fling the box of kittens into the fireplace. The mother cat jumps into the fire after her kittens. My children are in shock and crying while , I assume, my wife is staring at me in shock.

I always wake up after that. What bothers me the most is that it doesn't bother me at all. I cN see myself doing something that inhumane in real life. If anybody can figure out what my dream means, please tell me. I don't want to turn into a serial killer here. This is just the most recent dream I've been having. stay tuned, for i'll write about more if I have them and can remember.

Look in a Mirror, yung

For some strange reason, my friends think I’m evil. Not like Satan evil (at least they don’t say it to my face) but like Dark Vader evil. Just cause I say things that sound harsh, but are actually true.

 Is it so wrong for me not to be a chipper person and say positive tweets like every other self anointed street preacher on Twitter?  I don’t think so. There needs to be a balance. I don’t want everyone to think that they can be whatever you want to be. Child, your mother was a failure, your dead beat father was a failure, your siblings are failures. If you don’t acknowledge the odds are stacked against you and there is a greater chance that fail is in your future; you too, will be a failure. Get over your self-righteous if I say it enough it will come true kick. You are a loser. Own it. No one will marry you, no one wants to date you, you suck at everything you have ever started and if you really cared about society you drink a mix drink of bleach, drano, and lighter fluid and call it “Jesus Juice.”

Now back to the subject at hand, once you have accepted the fact, then you can do something about it. Learn from other’s mistakes. That’s what a wiser man would do. Be yourself and accept it. Not everyone can be the next Kobe Byrant. However, there is a better job than being Kobe Bryant. Being Kobe Bryant’s agent. All the rewards, none of the heavy lifting. Plus, yop don’t have to buy an overpriced stone when you step out on your woman. You can get a newer woman that’s younger and got a fresher piece of ass. I’m telling you, know your role in life, and lower expectations, and you will be happier longer. I dun said what I had to say, you can continue on.